L.A.’s Lighter Side: It’s Friday!
Posted by lamarzulli on October 16, 2009
My wife has been asking me for about two weeks to take her car down to the tire store that we visit and get the tires rotated. “Ok, honey… I’ll get right on it.” As I mentioned, a couple of weeks went by and still the tires were perched on the same axles, without going through the necessary alterations that were specifically requested by the wifey. Then I heard the proclamation – from she who must be obeyed – that sent a shiver up my spine and made me reach protectively for my wallet, “the engine light came on today, can you please get that checked and while your at it ROTATE THE TIRES!”
OK… tires can wait a while, but engine lights can’t.
We have been taking our cars to Hector’s, at H&A Auto for about ten years. He’s trustworthy and when our Ford Exploder blew up right at 150,ooo miles Hector found us a good used engine and we switched em’ out. Thanks Hector for all you do. Anyway I called before I went and spoke to Hector’s partner whose English skills are not quite up to snuff and told him about the engine light being on.
“Bring the car down and we’ll take a look at it!” he said and so I did. When I got there he informed that Hector wouldn’t be back until Monday so there was no one to look at the engine light. “But you said to bring it down!” I replied not really believing what he was telling me.
The man shook his head, “Only Hector knows how to do it. Bring it back on Monday.”
I shrugged my shoulders wished them well and left with my promise to return on Monday. Now the tire store, that we patronize is in the same complex, so I drove over to it. I noticed that no cars were in the bays. Nobody was in the parking lot. The place seemed deserted. Two mechanics were standing around the parrot cage feeding peanuts to the bird but other than that the place looked like a ghost town. I parked the car in a bay and headed into the front office… it was empty. I looked around and at the other end of the office, by the back door, two of the guys that work the front desk were standing looking down at the floor. I couldn’t see what they were looking at, but finally one of the guys lifted his head and nodded in my direction. I wondered what could be so absorbing. I walked a little further into the room asking myself, since there were no other customers why wasn’t I being taken care of? It was then I noticed the small object on the floor. The thing, whatever it was, was moving, slowly… very slowly, In fact I thought it was moving about as fast as a turtle would move and that’s when the light came on…. it was a turtle! I started cracking up, imagining the guys saying things like this to me.
“We’ll be with you in a minute buddy, just as soon as the turtle reaches the back door.”
“Yea, we’ve got a bet on it and if the turtle does it in less than five minutes I get anything off Dolores’s lunch truck.”
“So what’s with the turtle? I asked.
“The little guy got away over the summer and showed up a couple of months later. I took him to the Vet and the guy wanted $600 to nurse him back to health.”
I immediately thought that $600 could most likely buy an entire turtle farm, complete with a pond and ferris wheel!
“So did you spend the money on him?” I queried.
The guy shook his head, “No, taking care of the little guy myself and it’s working. He’s getting better.”
Anyway he picked up the turtle and put it into his box and waited on me. I got my tires rotated and was told by the mechanic that the front tires were going bald on the outside rims.”Why would that happen.” I asked.
“Do you live in one of the canyons?”
“Who drives the car?”
“Tell her she’s going to fast around the turns.”
It was then that the fable of the tortoise and the hare came to mind, as I imagined my wife, who I’ll affectionately call, Old Lead-foot, careening around the serpentine corners and switchbacks that are part of Decker Canyon. And that’s what I have to say about that!
* * * * *
There is so much going on in the world right now that I can’t let today’s entry go without mentioning a few things.
1. China and Russia this week refused to get behind sanctions with Iran. This means that Iran, who posses an existential threat to Israel will get the bomb unless stopped. This begs the question who is going to stop Iran? Israel?
2. Turkey and Syria have become new friends as their mutual hatred for Israel is the new found glue in the relationship.
3. Hezbollah – Iran’s proxy in Southern Lebanon has been given missiles that capable of hitting any city in Israel.
4. Pakistan has had a series of homicide bombings in which dozens of people were killed. The Taliban has grown strong by the sales of opium grown in Afghanistan. Why is it that after 8 years there are poppy fields left in that country? Follow the money. Pakistan has nukes and if the Taliban get them they will use them.
5. The Senate seems to be hell bent on passing the Health care bill. I think if this goes through people will flock to the streets in protest. If the government can’t build a border fence how the heck are they going to manage health care for 300 million people. No thanks!
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